"Self pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in the world." Helen Keller
I spent most of this past weekend with Mikes family. His brother was home for a few days visit, so when that happens, we usually plan our visiting around yummy meals. For some odd reason, this weekend, my emotions were a bit tender already, so, after watching three little girls and three little boys, all under the age of 6 running and playing and hugging grandmas, I couldn't wait to get to a silent home to sink into a pity party.
Last Sunday I was talking with a friend of mine who has a 2yr old grandson that she has never seen. We talked about how hard it is not to be able to be a significant part of our grandchildren lives and how difficult it is to be happy for our friends who are becoming grandparents, and understandably, beaming about it with pictures and stats. It's just not a natural feeling for a women to be refused grandmotherhood.
In another friends family there was a fall out among siblings a few years ago, and in the process, my friends are not allowed to see their grandchildren of two of their sons. They live in the same community, claim to be Christians, yet they won't allow visits. Mind boggling.
There is a sweet married lady friend who longed for children and never had any. She has also suffered from pain, physical and mental. I have a couple of great christian women in my life that have never been married. They would love to have a companion to spend their lives with.?????????
And in each of our cases, self pity, is our enemy. If we allow it to be obsessive in our lives, Satan wins. We become immobile. What do you suppose would have happened to Helen Keller if she would have succumbed to endless self-pity? She certainly had a cause to be depressed and bedridden, but instead she chose to embrace the box God had put her into for the help of others. What a great example of perseverance. So, as I was wallowing in my tears last night and asking what good all this pain is doing. God gently and sweetly reminded me for the umpteenth time that this life is not about me, but instead, to use what I have experienced, the adoption, depression, confusion, disappointment and most of all the miracles that I have seen to help find peace for those wounded soldiers, to lay it all at His feet and to TRUST Him in all circumstances.
I'm sure self-pity will rear it's nasty head again, but hopefully I will remember to be wise.